i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
