So gin and wine won't be happening again
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Every concussion has its silver lining
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
