Please, let me fuck your mom
My brain says no but my pants say off.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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