Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
