seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
