you guys were way drunker than both of me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
