I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
