I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
