Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
