im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
