Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
