ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
