What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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