We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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