My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
