Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
