blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
