Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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