Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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