Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
