I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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