You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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