We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
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and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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