Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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