We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
