Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
