I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
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you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
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I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
FUCK WHALES
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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