Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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