When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
