how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
