What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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