I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
