you lied. pity sex is amazing.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
