I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
True college students do jello shots in the library
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