Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize