I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
