No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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