He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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