my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
