She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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