I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
