Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize