I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
