Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
