Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
