She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I am one with the molecules
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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