Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
