i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
