Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
