Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
