There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
