I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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