He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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