and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We are two peas in an std pod
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
