i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
