I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
