He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
