Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
