Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
worst night to have a conscience
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
