i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize
