Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
