There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
