So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
