# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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