I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize